11 Weeks

your baby's the size of a lime!

Your fetus is about 1.6 inches long, and she's got about a 1:1 head to body ratio. She now weighs in at about .25 ounces.

your baby at 11 weeks

• You can't see it, but she's moving fluidly and gracefully in there.
• Her skin is see-through, but she's on her way to looking more like a baby.
• Her fingers and toes aren't webbed anymore.
• Tooth buds, hair follicles and nail beds are forming.

10 Weeks

A little late this week, but...

your baby's the size of a prune!

Now, she's about 1.2 inches long and weighs about .14 ounces. Her body length will almost double in the next three weeks.

your baby at 10 weeks

• Baby has working arm joints, and her cartilage and bones are forming.
• Her vital organs are fully developed and they're starting to function.
• Her fingernails and hair are starting to appear, too.
• Plus, she's swallowing and kicking in there. (Can you believe it?!)

In other news. I had my first OB appointment on Tuesday at 9w5d. Everything went well. I had a sonogram and got to see both babies moving around. It looks like Baby A is catching up and doing just fine. Baby A had a heart rate of 168 and Baby B had a heart rate of 173. I met my OB and I really like her - she has twins of her own. We both agreed that we thought Baby A would be a boy and Baby B would be a girl. I just have to wait about 8 more weeks to find out. 

Today, my mom went with me to Buy Buy Baby to test drive double strollers. That was quite the eye opener. This will definitely be my most expensive purchase. Wow!

My nausea is getting a little bit worse, but I think it is in part due to the sinus infection I am also fighting right now. I had heard nausea was supposed to peak around 9 weeks, but for me, it got worse at 10. It's still not that bad though. I really shouldn't complain. I'm lucky. Extremely lucky!

9 Weeks

your baby's the size of a green olive!

She's gaining steam! At 9 weeks, your fetus measures around .9 inches and weighs about .07 ounces.

your baby at 9 weeks

• This is a milestone. She's no longer an embryo -- now she's a fetus!
• She's developing more distinct facial features.
• And she might now have a strong enough heartbeat to be picked up by a fetal doppler.

Thank You Marcie

I received the sweetest text message from my sister-in-law tonight. As the mother of triplets, and a single mom herself since my brother passed away, she knows better than anyone what is coming my way. She's one of the people who *just knew* I would end up having twins. Her energy and strength amaze me everyday. She is doing a fantastic job and raising some really cool kids.

Thank You Marcie!

Pregnancy vs Infertility - Friendship

Being pregnant doesn't heal all the wounds of infertility. Being pregnant with twins doesn't mean I can now be considered "fertile". Infertility leaves behind so many scars. Some are quite visible and others are so deep you can only feel them. I am thrilled for this pregnancy. I worked hard to get here. I am thrilled that my friends and family are thrilled. But I don't want to forget about the struggles and I don't want anyone else to either. Getting pregnant doesn't erase all that. Having a take home baby won't either. 

I have a friend who I can barely stand to be around right now. Our friendship is hanging on by a thread these days because she has no concept of what I have been through or what I am going through. She openly disapproves of my choice to be a single mother. When I told her I was moving to IVF, her response was to ask me if it wouldn't be easier to just go to a few bars and pick up random men. Our friendship, while already on thin ice, pretty much ended right there. I can respect the fact that she does not agree with my life choices. I don't agree with most of her life choices. I won't air them here because this is my story, not hers. We are two very different people. And that's ok. But to watch me struggle for two years and dismiss my pain that way. It was too much and I can't get past it.

She's known for spouting off insensitive comments without thinking about it. Usually I roll my eyes and change the subject. But this one was really close to home and it hurt. I reacted the right way though. I didn't get all defensive and upset. I actually tried to calmly explain that due to a medical diagnosis it wasn't actually that simple and that IVF was now my only option. Her response, "oh whatever" as if she didn't believe me and I was being overly dramatic. What do you say to that? How do you respond when you have been branded with the scarlet I?

I am learning how to balance infertility and pregnancy. I so wish that I was just a normal pregnant girl. But, I'm not. I'm fucking special! I am every exception to every rule. Sometimes I feel like the poster child for "Not the life you should ever wish for."

I am infertile. I am single. It's part of who I am. I am also pregnant with twins. I may be building my family some bass-ackwards way from what you think I should, but I am so excited for my little family to be. And I have so many people in my life that are supportive, excited, thrilled - every good emotion in the book. 

When it comes to the negativity - it's time to cut some ties. 

Holy crap, I am having two babies

That is all.

8 Weeks

your baby's the size of a raspberry!

Now she weighs in (yay!) at about .04 ounces and measures about .63 inches. This week, she's growing about a milimeter each day.

your baby at 8 weeks

• You can't feel it yet, but she's moving those arms and legs like crazy!
• Her fingers and toes are now only slightly webbed, and her tail (yes, she had one) is gone.
• Fun fact: your baby's taste buds are now forming.

In other news, I am still feeling pretty good. Boobs are not quite as sore. I still get horrible heartburn after I eat and random queasiness if I get hungry, but it's not too bad. Getting up at least 2-3 times per night to pee is wearing me out. Developing better sleeping habits is definitely on my to-do list.

My PIO countdown is 22 more days - 22 more injections. I am so ready to be done with the PIO and being able to regain feeling in my butt.