Pregnancy vs Infertility - Friendship

Being pregnant doesn't heal all the wounds of infertility. Being pregnant with twins doesn't mean I can now be considered "fertile". Infertility leaves behind so many scars. Some are quite visible and others are so deep you can only feel them. I am thrilled for this pregnancy. I worked hard to get here. I am thrilled that my friends and family are thrilled. But I don't want to forget about the struggles and I don't want anyone else to either. Getting pregnant doesn't erase all that. Having a take home baby won't either. 

I have a friend who I can barely stand to be around right now. Our friendship is hanging on by a thread these days because she has no concept of what I have been through or what I am going through. She openly disapproves of my choice to be a single mother. When I told her I was moving to IVF, her response was to ask me if it wouldn't be easier to just go to a few bars and pick up random men. Our friendship, while already on thin ice, pretty much ended right there. I can respect the fact that she does not agree with my life choices. I don't agree with most of her life choices. I won't air them here because this is my story, not hers. We are two very different people. And that's ok. But to watch me struggle for two years and dismiss my pain that way. It was too much and I can't get past it.

She's known for spouting off insensitive comments without thinking about it. Usually I roll my eyes and change the subject. But this one was really close to home and it hurt. I reacted the right way though. I didn't get all defensive and upset. I actually tried to calmly explain that due to a medical diagnosis it wasn't actually that simple and that IVF was now my only option. Her response, "oh whatever" as if she didn't believe me and I was being overly dramatic. What do you say to that? How do you respond when you have been branded with the scarlet I?

I am learning how to balance infertility and pregnancy. I so wish that I was just a normal pregnant girl. But, I'm not. I'm fucking special! I am every exception to every rule. Sometimes I feel like the poster child for "Not the life you should ever wish for."

I am infertile. I am single. It's part of who I am. I am also pregnant with twins. I may be building my family some bass-ackwards way from what you think I should, but I am so excited for my little family to be. And I have so many people in my life that are supportive, excited, thrilled - every good emotion in the book. 

When it comes to the negativity - it's time to cut some ties.